Ways to Make Your Birthday Something You Actually Enjoy
Here’s some ways to turn the day into something you want to celebrate
Welcome to our first monthlong content series! This time around, we’re focusing on one theme: birthdays.
My own birthday is later this month, so I thought it’d be fun to spend the next 30 days diving into all things birthday-related topics: cakes, parties, iconic TV episodes, and more.
Birthdays can be tricky for a lot of us, so let’s use this as a chance to find the fun in them!
I often hear people say they don’t like their birthday. There’s the pressure, the buildup, and the inevitable letdown. I get it. There’s also the more emotional side, acknowledging your age and coming to terms with time passing can be difficult and even a little scary.
But if you’re someone who likes the idea of a birthday (the concept of celebrating) but it still never quite feels right, here are a few ways I’ve adjusted how I celebrate to actually look forward to the day.
One - Plan it yourself.
Stop waiting around for someone else to take the lead, chances are, they won’t. And even if they do offer, there’s a risk you’ll end up disappointed… or worse, feel guilty that they went out of their way for you.
Speaking for myself: I have high expectations. If things don’t go the way I envisioned, I unravel quickly and struggle to enjoy what is going well. So when I plan the event myself, I’m usually much happier with how it turns out. This is not to say I am the only one who can do things right, more that I will be happy with the type of cake because I picked out exactly what I wanted.
(Exception: a surprise party. That’s a huge gesture, and if someone pulls it off thoughtfully, it’s an incredibly generous form of flattery. Just make sure it’s something the person actually wants and that it’s a party they’d want to be at.)
One other tip: I try to keep birthday events to around two hours. That way, things stay fun and intentional, and don’t drag on.
Two - Pay for it.
Not everyone agrees with this one, but hear me out. A lot of birthday anxiety comes from guilt: I feel bad making people come, I don’t want them to spend money. So, pay for it. Covering the cost takes that guilt out of the equation. It gives you more control over the night—not in a greedy way, but in a way that lifts a ton of mental stress off everyone involved.*
Oh? Your friends don’t love the restaurant you picked? Well, they’re not paying for it—so who cares! This night is about you. Take that awkward moment when the bill comes out of the evening. Everyone, including you, will have a better time.
*Of course, no one’s expecting you to pay. Your friends and family love you and are usually more than happy to chip in to celebrate. But it’s a generous gesture to remove any financial stress, for them and for you. That said, if paying for it is going to put you into debt, skip the party. Do something smaller or celebrate in a different way.
Three - Celebrate it on your actual day.
This one’s crucial. Whether your birthday falls on a Tuesday or a Saturday, try to celebrate on the day itself. Feeling lonely or a little blue on your birthday is incredibly common, and being around others really helps make the day feel special.
Did you already celebrate the weekend before, but your actual birthday is on a Wednesday? So now what? You're spending your real birthday... alone? Just have the gathering on Wednesday instead. People are more than happy to go out for a celebration, even midweek. And if they’re not? They don’t need to be invited.
If you're worried about hosting something on a weeknight, keep it short and simple. A dinner from 7 to 9 is perfect. People can still be home and in bed by 10.
Four - Make it something you want to do.
When I was younger, I’d throw my birthday at a bar and I never really enjoyed myself. I didn’t even want to be there in the first place. Eventually, I started asking myself: What do I actually like to do? Where do I genuinely enjoy spending time?
Now, I try to design the day around what brings me joy. Whatever makes the day feel good and grounded. And guess what? My friends are happy to support me, whatever that looks like. Sure, they might not get their face painted but it’s there if they want it!
Five - Create Traditions
Traditions and memories from past birthdays help build meaning around the occasion. Since 2017, I’ve hosted a trivia night for my birthday and it’s something I genuinely look forward to every year. It’s become a core part of how I celebrate, and it’s helped turn the day into something that feels truly mine.
I spend a lot of time putting it together and hosting it for my friends, and it’s something both I and my (most of my ;) guests get excited about.
Another bonus: once you find a tradition you love, you no longer have to stress about what to do each year. You can just keep doing the thing that works. And it doesn’t have to be a big event—maybe it’s going to the same bar, bowling alley, or watching the same movie at a friend’s house*. Big or small, these rituals make the day feel more personal and special.
*For a long time, my friends and I celebrated each other’s birthdays the same way: at someone’s home with a movie and takeout of the birthday person’s choice. It was simple, consistent, and something I genuinely looked forward to every time. (To be honest, I think I just really loved the activity itself (being home))
Six - Buy Yourself Something
This one’s less about celebrating and more about rewarding yourself. You made another lap around the sun—treat yourself! Carrying, wearing, or admiring something you gifted yourself feels uniquely special, especially when it’s tied to your birthday.
I love when someone compliments something I’m wearing and I get to say, “Thanks, it was my birthday gift to myself.” I want to say I love all my bags equally, but I don’t. The ones I bought for my birthday? They just mean a little more.
And if material things aren’t your thing, think outside the box: a beautiful kitchen knife, a spa day, a plane ticket—something just a bit indulgent that you wouldn’t normally buy on an average day.
Have a wonderful birthday!
Love, Chelsea